Putting the flute into corflute

It's almost election season in Australia, and you know what that means!

Flute (n) - the male sex organ (cf. This Sporting Life et al, 1986-2008)

Soon, possibly during the interregnum between this being typed and your being able to read it, it will become election season across Australia. A time when we come together as a nation and decide that although we hate everything about the current government and everything about the opposition party we will change precisely nothing and elect either one or the other. The possibility we elect neither does exist, but ultimately one of the two will ultimately form government.

As part of that, front yards, supermarket windows, random fences and just about every surface that faces out to a public place and isn't already covered in advertising will be plastered in corflutes.

What is a corflute, you ask? It's a shitty piece of plastic onto which your local candidate will print a photo of their face (usually with the most "please just repeatedly punch me in the mouth" expression they can muster), their name and, if they're not embarrassed about it, their political affiliation.

Sadly, as a member of the general public, you have no recourse in which to opt out of being bombarded by these fucking things everywhere you fucking go for fucking weeks on end. Political parties have conveniently arranged the rules so that they don't have to abide by any sense of decency or ethical standard they expect from you and I.

I have a proposal I would like to air that I believe will assist somewhat in balancing the equation in this regard.

If you are brave (stupid?) enough to want to plaster your local area with unavoidable pictures of your face, the gamble you take is that I, as a citizen, should be able to take a thick, black marking pen and draw a penis on your face. Or glasses. Or scrub out a couple of teeth. Or otherwise make you look stupid.

Call it something of a right of reply.

No one is holding a gun to your head and saying that you have to plaster your gurning, munted face everywhere in order to run for public office. It is a choice you make. Choices should have consequences. This would be a consequence.

We should be able to really put the flute into corflute. It should be allowed, nay, encouraged. Fluting a corflute should be as traditional as the democracy sausage, or screaming "no way, get fucked, fuck off" in response to being asked if someone is ever going to see your face again.

The utopian dream I have is that eventually this will lead to these things fucking off forever. Which would make me happy.

At least until they find a new way to forcibly insert themselves into my life without my explicit consent. Undoubtedly it would not take long.